I miss you! Where have you been? I’ve tried to find you in the mountains of Colorado and the lakes of Ohio but when I looked all I saw was a reflection of your empty wine or vodka bottle. Depended on the night I guess. I think I was always one step behind you though, picking up the crumbs of your poptart wrappers and that same fucking flannel you can’t donate. I smelled your lingering coconut lotion in Jbar and saw the footprints of your Adidas in the snow. I really hope you invest in snow shoes by the way. I’m not sure where you were going those nights, anywhere except home probably. The walls of that house always made you feel small, its okay, I get it.
A lot has changed since you’ve been gone. The wine bottles have been limited to one a week, even though I know you could suck a bottle down by 4PM on a Tuesday. Cooking nutritious food is becoming a thing. I mean, did you really think you could live off poptarts and $1 Tonys pizza forever? Probably….you were always accepting a challenge to be different. You start doing things you’re passionate about again. Yoga, running, writing, photographing. You set goals and accomplish them.
I can’t help but sit here and wonder where you are though. Or why I miss you. I know we all lose ourselves sometimes but you can come back whenever you want. I’ll always be here waiting.