I was catching up with an old friend a few weeks ago and saw each other for the first time in like, three years?? (Hi, Aaron!!) We were talking for awhile and filling each other in on what’s been going on in life when suddenly he says, “Wow, you definitely don’t see that on Instagram!”, and he’s right. You don’t. I have been wanting to write about this for awhile now and I think I was scared of the vulnerability but you know what, fuck it.
Instagram is this world where I find myself endlessly scrolling through photo after photo of beautiful women. I think, god their life is seriously perfect!! They live at the beach and eat delicious dinners followed by ice cream and sunsets. And I’m not trying to say I want to change who I am just to be like them, but it does make me question my self-esteem and I know it’s made you question yours too, whoever is reading this.
What you see on my Instagram are photos of me practicing my love of photography, days at the pool, happily eating tacos, drinking craft beer with friends, new places for adventures. What you don’t see on my Instagram are nights lying in bed due to sadness. You don’t see me zoning out while watching the sunset wondering where my life will be in 5 years. You don’t see my naked flesh in the shower with no makeup and wet hair. You only see the good angles of my body. You only see the $8 craft beer I paid for. You only see the reward of my adventures and not what it physically took to get there.
You only see what I choose to show you. And so does everyone else. Not everyone has a god damn smile plastered on their face 24/7 living this amazing, perfect dreamy life. This is where social media gets tricky for me. I have such a passion for the opportunities social media allows for individuals to express their creativity and art, but you can’t let it question who you are as a person. I have found myself revolving around Instagram. Will this be a good photo? Is the lighting ok? What time should I upload? What should be the caption?
Trust me, I am aware of how pathetic that sounds. I just think it is important to remind yourself we are humans. Everyone has shit deep down they hide from the world. I wish I was smiling all the time and eating endless tacos but I’m not, and neither is that account you’re about to creep on right now.